Monday, March 1, 2010

What'cha wearin' under there?

The six o'clock local news covered the sentencing of two young men in the murder of two other young men. I caught myself considering what must be in their mind to commit such a crime; and to commit such a crime at such a young age. I didn't think of it very long, because it made me sad. I turned off the TV and put the stereo on. Much better.
I put on a Willie Nelson CD. I love Willie - I love the smooth easy he has, with that twang of mischief. 'Always on My Mind'. Maybe I didn't treat you quite as good as I should have; Maybe I didn't love you quite as often as I should have. It makes me think about my failed marriage. I'm just now beginning to allow myself to let go of the hurt. I'm starting to admit to my failings. Maybe I didn't love him. When I asked him why, he answered, "I thought you didn't love me."
I'm humored by a memory of a comment from brother Ken. "You didn't ask for the right thing!" he commented when I told him how I employed the Law of Attraction and creative visualization. When I was approaching my 28th birthday, I recall affirming that I was ready to settle down; I was ready for a life time committed relationship. I asked for someone to love me.
I asked for someone to love me - then I hear Grace Slick asking, don't I want somebody to love, don't I need somebody to love. And Queen "find me somebody to love.." I'd had it all wrong!!
I had asked for someone to love me when in fact, I did need to find me somebody to love.
Lately I seem to notice couples that have a good marriage, or a good relationship. "He's the love of my life" Linda said when talking about Bob, her husband of 20+ years. I walked into my boss's office and heard him finish his phone conversation with his wife, and he said, "I love you, too." They are married nearly 20 years. ( I got a "Yo'"..)
I've digressed, and you've just gotten a peak at my underwear.

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