Tuesday, March 24, 2009

a disturbing dream...

Two nights ago I had an odd dream, that I continue to think about with bewilderment. Maybe by writing it down, I will gain some deeper insight. I welcome and encourage any suggested interpretation(s) from you.
Someone handed me an infant. I knew that this infant was dying, and that it was my task to make things as comfortable as possible for this dying baby. I cradled her in the crook of my right arm, noticing how tiny her heart-shaped, pink little face was. I remember hoping that this death would not be as painful as my mother's. I rocked the baby, and gently sung/hummed 'Amazing Grace'. Then things got confusing. I don't remember exactly what occurred, whether I was unaware in my dream state, or whether I simply did not remember upon waking. But things became somewhat chaotic, with another person agitating my efforts to calm this baby. The baby became very figitty. I called to this other person, to look - "Look at how strong she is!" I cried, as this baby used her legs to lock around my legs, and pulled herself up to a vertical position. (dreams can do those things....) I was stunned, and immediately shouted loud and clear in the baby's face, "LU - CI - FER!" I called in a heavy, deep throating voice.. the words spewed from my gut. I literally cried out in my sleep, waking myself up. In my mind, I was exorcising the demon from this baby.
Phew. That was one weird dream.
My emotions were not of any sorrow or regret that this baby was dying, but rather matter-of-fact, as though it were a fact of life. There was definitely a sense of some evil presence, but it didn't fear me as much as anger me that it still existed.
Symbolically, babies represent one's spiritual age, newness, new beginnings, innocence. The legs represent the will. I don't suppose there's much symbology in "Lucifer" - that's pretty straight forward.
Perhaps it is my will that keeps alive the separate selfish self - which I know must die.
Hmmmm.

1 comment:

Roderckdhu said...

Well, that dream rises right up there with some of my weird dreams! Must be the season.