Monday, May 4, 2009

The Time has Come

I woke at 5:45 this morning, took Gracie out for "bizniss" and crawled back in to bed, awaiting the 7:00 alarm. I lay in bed watching the morning sun slit through the window shears, listening to the cardinals and`mockingbirds chorus. I checked my Blackberry and saw an e-mail from one of my councilmembers, sent at 1:20 AM. It was a heads-up on something that was happening first thing this morning, so it was sort of a mixed blessing: I was wondering why I am 'plugged in' 24/7, but grateful to have the opportunity to get a jump on something. I sent a few e-mails, passing along the 'heads-up' as I lay in bed. I put down the phone. I felt well rested, I had a good weekend, my spring flu had disipated to almost nothing. I felt good. Yet I had this unavoidable feeling of dread. I dreaded going in to work, but for no particular reason. What would I like to do, instead, I asked myself. I thought of a number of things, none of which could provide me with my need for health insurance and a regular, reasonable income. Okay, I responded, what is it about your job that you DO like, or that you could change to make it pleasant? I hit a brick wall, a dead end.

I eased out of bed, into the shower and began my morning routine. I knew I had a council meeting at 9:00 AM sharp, with an added duty (courtesy of the 1 am e-mail) that would begin at 8:15. " It will be what you make it" I told myself, as I tried to map my day as I wished it to be, as I appreciated the goodness in my life. I enjoyed the yogurt and bananas breakfast, the warm, stimulating shower. I dressed in a black pencil skirt with a great lace top and cute black sandals. The weekend at the beach gave my bare legs, arms and face a nice golden glow. I felt good. I felt I looked good.

I pedaled up on my new pink beach cruiser, perfect timing to be greeted by the Principal of the Beach Elementary School and twenty or so fifth-graders. This was the Youth Council, my 'added duty'. My councilmember said, "Well! You all get to meet your first Town Staff member!" So I rallied: "HI! I'm Michelle Mayher, your Town Clerk! I'm SO EXCITED to have you all join us today!" I was taken aback by one young student that actually clapped, jumped and shouted, "yay!!" (she was happy to meet me?!!?)

The meeting, the morning and the balance of my work day went well. I did not work late (rare for me) and was home by 5:15. Feeling full from a late lunch, I decided that Gracie and I both needed a good brisk walk. I changed, gathered my cell phone, a bottle of water and poop bags and leashed Gracie and headed out. She LOVES to go 'walking'. There are some issues going on on this island that make it difficult for me to separate Michelle resident from Michelle clerk. It pisses me off. I have to go out of my way to avoid "the perception" of town staff interference. I'm just out walking my dog, but run in to "issues". Gracie and I take a good 2-3 mile walk, but nearly every step of the way I'm met with "issues"; reasons to make me say to myself, "I've been on this island too long" "I need a change" " need something else."

"The time has come," the Walrus said,"To talk of many things:Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--Of cabbages--and kings--And why the sea is boiling hot--And whether pigs have wings."

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